JLo-Ben Affleck's relationship proves those who are meant to be with you will stay

We have all been in a relationship where we thought that our significant other is our soulmate - we dreamt about marrying them and growing old together - but the fairytale romance came to a screeching halt with a sudden, unexpected break-up, followed by blocking each other on social media and never meeting again. What makes Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s relationship and their wedding endearing is the promise that fairytale romance does exist. If one were to go through the complete timeline of the relationship between Affleck and Lopez, without knowing if the couple does eventually end up together, one can never guess where their relationship is headed. Affleck and Lopez met on the sets of the 2002 film Gigli. Sparks flew and the two fell madly in love with each other. They got engaged in 2002 and were followed intensely by tabloids wherever they went - be it a trip to the gas station or lounging on a yacht. By 2003, Bennifer's wedding was highly anticipated but the couple called it quits in 2004, allegedly due to the media and tabloid frenzy.

Second Time’s A Charm?

Once Beniffer parted ways, the couple never looked back. Both Affleck and Lopez explored a plethora of options in the dating pool. Hollywood, of course, is a cesspool full of problematic but good-looking actors and actresses who are single and both Lopez and Affleck dated plenty of them. Affleck dated the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Garner (who he married in 2005 and had three kids with), Lindsay Shookus and Ana de Armas while Lopez dated hip-hop mogul Sean 'Diddy' Combs, rapper Drake, singer Marc Anthony (who she married in 2004 and welcomed two kids with) and former Yankee Alex Rodriguez. A cursory glance at the dating history of Affleck and Lopez proves they came close to getting engaged multiple times, eventually got married and had kids with two other people, only to come back and rekindle their romance two decades later in 2022. If anything, the two-decade-long on-again off-again relationship between Lopez and Affleck is testimony to the fact that those who are meant to be in our lives will find their way back, no matter what.

In a time when relationship experts, therapists, friends, families and literally everyone advises against going back to one’s ex, Jennifer and Ben did exactly that - a move that was met with much apprehension from both fans of JLo and Affleck when pictures of the couple kissing on a yacht went viral last year. The sentiment was felt again this week when the couple had a surprise Las Vegas wedding. There is plenty of shame and stigma associated with going back to one’s ex even if one is not a celebrity. The fear of judgment from social circles is enough to cripple one’s reason and thinking abilities. Add to it the fact that both Lopez and Affleck are celebrities whose relationship was the talk-of-the-town back in the early aughts and aggressively covered by the media. Bennifer’s decision to get back together couldn’t have been an easy one as both got mixed reactions to their reunion. It won’t be an exaggeration to say that the couple even anticipated negative social media reactions but went ahead and made their relationship official anyway because, perhaps, after having explored literally all the options in Hollywood, the two knew that they were meant to be together. Some might call going back to their ex toxic - but is it still toxic if two exes rekindle their romance after two decades of dating, marrying and having multiple kids? Maybe, just maybe, Lopez and Affleck now want to live their lives sans judgements and not have the media or outside comments ruin their relationship, something which happened back in 2002.

Why The Furor Over The Last Name?

One of the biggest highlights of the Bennifer wedding was Jennifer Lopez taking Ben Affleck’s last name which sent the Twitterverse into a tizzy. Lopez signed the newest edition of her fan newsletter, On The JLo, with the name, Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck. “Why would JLo change her name? She has a whole career invested in her birth name!! She needs to keep her name,” a user wrote. “I refuse to call her J.Aff,” wrote a Twitter user. While one can, of course, understand the disappointment of JLo stans over the name change as they have grown up idolizing JLo and calling the icon J.Aff might be a bit uncomfortable for them, it is important to understand that changing her last name is Lopez’s choice alone after all and we must respect it. Some women choose tradition over modernity and while that might not be everyone’s cup of tea, we must remember that the ethos of feminism lies in helping women exercise freedom and choice - regardless of whether their choice is to break stereotypes or embrace tradition.

Are Bennifer meant to be together? Will they last? It might be too early to say. But is it okay to judge the couple for their dating choices and call them toxic because they rekindled their two-decade-long romance? Probably not. While some view Bennifer as a toxic couple that just cannot get over each other, for others, they symbolize love that perseveres and survives the ravages of time. For some, Bennifer is proof that those who are meant to be, will stay no matter what.

Deepansh Duggal is an entertainment, pop-culture and trends writer based in New Delhi. He specializes in op-eds based on the socio-political and gender issues in the world of entertainment and showbiz. He also writes explainers and occasionally reviews shows in the OTT space. He tweets at @Deepansh75. 

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