Dear life, don't be so cruel to me: Last words of 16-year-old as 2 sisters, father hang to death under crushing poverty

Gorakhpur: A father and his two minor daughters died by suicide after they hung themselves together in the Geeta Vatika area here on Tuesday morning. The bodies of the daughters were found hanging from the ceiling fan by a dupatta, while the father was hanging from the ceiling fan in another room.

The family was stuck in dire financial straits.

Autopsy confirmed death by hanging. No injury marks were found anywhere on the bodies of the deceased. Hanging has been pronounced as the cause of death.

Why they took the extreme step?

The answer is in some pages of the diary entries of the elder 16-year-old daughter.
She writes:

“Dear life, don’t be so cruel to me, I am not that strong, please spare me; I have seen your truest form. But, you never hesitated to make me struggle. You even tortured my parents. You didn’t let them live in peace. They faced the toughest situations. With a tired smile on their faces and even after my mother died, you didn’t give a second chance to anyone. You took all my life. Took away the happiness.”

“Why? Why I have to face so much? Why we have to face all these circumstances in our life? Why these many hurdles in our lives? No answer. I know nobody has the answer but I am tired.”

“My heart has become a stone now, my eyes pain whenever I cry, my head aches whenever I get to know the new problem. Still I am trying to keep myself up, but I swear I don’t know when I am going to end up this bullshit life of mine.”

“To end this life that has so much problems, sadness, cries, humiliation and no understanding. In this whole world no one is there to understand me, no one to console. I might show that I am strong, but I am broken because of betrayal I get from each and every person.”

“No relations are true in this world except of my father and sister. I was always silent girl, but not to my family. They also started judging me. So I chose to be silent.”

“Oh God! My eyes are aching. I am scared that tears will run out of my body. Don’t know why, whenever I try to be happy, this life always comes to me smiling creepily with a new blast.”

“I am tired, I am tired, please! I have lost my biggest gems now I don’t have more courage to see someone going away from me.

Please Just stop it, I want to rest, I beg you”.

On the second page of her diary she wrote:

“Life is very cruel. It gave us money problems. Despite this we made ourselves strong. We did not let ourselves think why us, rather we faced everything.”

On the fourth page, she continues: “I cannot believe that the person whom I considered my friend used to think like this about me and my family. I used to think that she is not talking to me. So She must be in some tension. But not like everyone else, she also had the same mentality that we are children without mothers, and will do dirty things.
How can she think like this?”

“…Please diary don’t tell these things to anyone”.

Girls’ grandfather walked in to find the horrific scene

The incident of mass suicide came to light early on Tuesday morning when Om Prakash (60), grandfather of the two girls, came back from working night shift as security guard. He informed the police after seeing all his family members dead.

As per reports, Jitendra’s wife died a few years ago, while his mother, just six months, due to separate illnesses. He had also lost one leg to a train accident after which he was on prosthetic limb. Jitendra did tailoring work, but managed to send his girls to one of the best convent school in Gorakhpur.

No money to pay school fees

The two girls were good at studies. Nivedita Kaushik, principal of Shahpur-based Central Academy, said, the elder daughter was a topper, in studies and sports. She scored 86.66% marks in the recently concluded half-yearly exam.

She bagged the fourth position in the school. While her younger sister used to study in the 7th class in the same school. She scored 73.9% marks in the exam.

A letter recovered from the house revealed that tution fee of the two girls was due. Elder daughter’s school fees was Rs 4,230 and the younger daughter’s fees was Rs 3,156 per month.

Lavish, but last meal

Before the mass suicide, the two girls had participated in a cultural program on Children’s Day. The elder daughter also prepared ‘litti’ and mutton after coming back from school. Om Prakash, their grandfather, went to work after having dinner. But, no one else in the family ate the food.

Police officials say that the daughters and father were going through hardships, but given the dinner preparations and their participation in the cultural programme at school, it did not seem they had planned it. “Something must have happened on Monday night after which they took the extreme step,” a police official told local reporters.

No money for cremation; Police fund funeral

Reports say the family was devastated due to money problems. Even the blood relations of Jitendra had turned a blind eye to their problems. After the mass suicide, Om Prakash did not even have money to cremate the bodies. Police officials funded the funeral.

According to reports, Om Prakash himself performed the ‘shanti havan’ for the deceased with just one person around in front of the house. He told reporters that he just had Rs 130 on him when the incident occurred.

Om Prakash, on Wednesday, told media that his son had taken loans from many people for his wife’s treatment, daughters’ education and other needs. “I know about the loans even though he never told me about them; I knew since people used to come home for repayment,” he said.

A collection of suicide prevention helpline numbers are available here. Please reach out if you or anyone you know is in need of support. The All-India helpline number is: 022-27546669

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