EXCLUSIVE Interview! Bhumi Pednekar on Thank You For Coming: ‘Our sexual needs don’t stop with our duty to reproduce’

Bhumi Pednekar in an interview with Firstpost’s Lachmi Deb Roy says that there is a notion that we have been taught since our childhood that ‘sex’ is not supposed to be a pleasurable exercise for women. It is our duty to serve the men and we are not supposed to be receivers of the pleasures of sex.  And that is the reason, most of the women have never enjoyed it because there has been a lot of bitterness attached to the activity.

Thank You For Coming breaks that notion that sex is pleasure that needs to be enjoyed not just by men, but by women too and she has every right to play an active part in it.

Edited excerpts from the interview:

What is your opinion about women’s sexual desires and how loudly can you discuss it?

I think as loudly as men speak about it. Why should there be any difference? Your sexual desire is a very natural zoological reaction. It is not that only men enjoy sex, women like it as much as men do. And I feel the conversation is much more than the want to have sex. It is genuinely about empowering and liberating women. Why are we slut shamed all the time?

If you look at history, the flag bearers of feminism. It can be a Frida Kahlo, it can be Amrita Pritam or Amrita Sher-Gil all these women, they stood for sexual liberation through their art, through their poems and they all were labelled because it makes the society uncomfortable. There is a notion that we have been taught since our childhood that sex is not supposed to be a pleasurable exercise for women. It is our duty to serve the men and we are not supposed to be receivers of the pleasures of sex.  And that is the reason, most of the women have never enjoyed it because there has been a lot of bitterness attached to the activity.

Our sexual needs do not stop with our duty to reproduce. And most of the time they are forced into this activity. Feminism and women empowerment is a large umbrella and women’s sexual desires and respecting that desire occupy a very important place under this umbrella.

Thank You For Coming also talks about cyber bullying. I know exactly how horrible it can get because I have also been a victim of cyber bullying.

How much can you relate to the character?

I relate to Kanika in most of the parts. Maybe our sexual experiences and life have been different, but just want to find that right person especially when you are young and you are constantly on the lookout for a man who will make you feel better about life in many ways… I totally relate to it.  Because that’s what we are taught that eventually there will be this person who will come and he is the one who will make your life complete.

Even I had this ‘Kanika moment’ also in my real life, when I felt that I honestly don’t need anybody else, but just myself and my career to feel complete. There are so many parts of living the single life that I connect with Kanika.  And just the experiences that you have with your girlfriends and those heartbreaks and how every heartbreak kind of takes a lot away from you and the way you are questioned. There are a lot of childhood traumas that we carry into our adult lives as well. And that kind of shapes us into being the adult that we are.

How did you prepare for this role?

It was like, I have prepared for this role my entire life. Just being a modern, city girl, I have lived that life. I have had so many girl friends that have lived that life. You know the way that I am single even today, there is this thing always playing at the back of our mind that at some point I will find that man. I am an independent, successful woman and I am living my life on my own terms, yet we are in search of that person, who will be my partner. And while doing that search you land up doing a lot of silly things and also a lot of right things as well. And I have done this my entire life.

I felt that my entire life  I have prepared to play Kanika Kapoor.  She is a tribute to so many of my life experiences and so many that my sister and friends has gone through. You genuinely kiss a lot of wrongs and it is not about finding that man, but about finding yourself in that process. Every tragedy that you go through in life takes you into seeing something brighter.

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