Dear Twitterwasis, why so much fuss around Jaya Bachchan's advice to Navya Naveli Nanda?

Jaya Ji’s advice to granddaughter Navya Naveli Nanda is significant for multiple reasons. For starters, it breaks away from the generational conflict between the boomers and the Gen Z – a trope which plays out in pop-culture on a daily basis. While the boomers who are roughly around Jaya Ji’s age accuse the Gen Z of being hyper-sensitive and snowflakes, Gen Z feels boomers often pass down their trauma to their kids and have, in their own bigoted ways, changed the world’s socio-political culture for the worse. However, veteran actress Jaya Bachchan’s advice to Navya is not only sound but it seems like it stems out of Jaya Ji’s own life experiences. Boomers, having spent their entire lives in a regressive environment where divorce was not an option and having kids out of wedlock was considered shameful, perhaps don’t want their kids to repeat the same mistakes they made.

There are boomers – grandparents and senior citizens from all walks of life – who internalize the bigotry and force it upon their kids and subsequently their grandkids. However, Jaya Ji is an exception to this trend. The veteran actress has made a conscious choice to not pass on her trauma and particularly the beliefs which were upheld back in her day, to her kids, which, in all honesty, is a breath of fresh air. Why, then, are the Twittervasis – having a tough time accepting Jaya Ji’s advice? Finding the answer to this question is a rather tough task but worth taking on nonetheless.

The Bachchans and the Indian Ethos

To find out why Jaya Ji’s statement left many surprised, one must carefully observe the tweets and the distasteful memes that were circulated online when the backlash began. Most of them were around Amitabh Bachchan and how he would have reacted to the comment in question.

#JayaBachchan
I pity on Amitabh bacchan for choosing Jaya over Rekha. pic.twitter.com/TV6HO8fExe

— Mona (@MonalishaaIn) October 30, 2022

Amitabh bhi soch rahe honge… Rekha hi theek rahti #JayaBachchan

— गगन सिंह (@bjpgagansingh) October 30, 2022

Amitabh Bachchan after the following statement of Jaya Bachchan!
“I have no problem if you have a child without a marriage also, I really don’t have a problem,” – Jaya Bachchan.#JayaBachchan #AmitabhBachchan #Bollywood #bollywoodactress #hindicinema pic.twitter.com/kpBh1JjwpJ

— Sankha Ray (@Sankharay) October 30, 2022

After hearing Statements of Jaya Bachchan

Amitabh Bachchan be like:#JayaBachchan #NavyaNanda pic.twitter.com/euMXwsFgyr

— Daivat Reddy (@DaivatReddy) October 30, 2022

Strange, isn’t it? Why is Big B being dragged into this? It is here that we must remind ourselves that for the longest, Senior Bachchan has, perhaps unintentionally, emerged as the torch-bearer of Indian sensibilities and ethos. He was (mostly) projected as a man who can do no wrong in his films and emerged as a self-righteous symbol of all-things parampara, pratishtha, anushasan. However, in this image of Indian ethos and sensibility, some of us mistook Big B’s pursuit to uphold the Indian culture with a false sense of morality. Therefore, it comes as a huge shock that the spouse of an actor who has become a symbol of India’s culture could urge her granddaughter to have kids outside of wedlock.

It is therefore not surprising that some of the memes made rather distasteful remarks on Big B’s alleged affair with veteran actress Rekha and subsequently, his marriage to Jaya Bachchan. The fact that Jaya Ji was in the news recently for her problematic behaviour around paparazzi didn’t help her cause either and she emerged as a villain in the scenario.

Comments taken out of context?

Were Jaya Ji’s comments taken out of context? Yes, they were. Contrary to popular belief, Jaya Ji didn’t encourage her granddaughter to have kids outside of the wedlock. She said that she’d be okay if Navya were to make that choice due to lack of physical intimacy in a relationship. When Jaya Ji was asked about physical intimacy and its importance, she said it is ‘very, very important’. She added, “I’m looking at it very clinically. Since there’s a lack of that emotion [physical attraction], in the romance today…I think you should marry your best friend. You should have a good friend, you should discuss and say, ‘Maybe I’d like to have a child with you because I like you, I think you’re nice, so let’s get married because that’s what society’s saying’. I have no problem if you have a child without a marriage also, I really don’t have a problem”.

Are Jaya Ji’s comments as problematic as some people on social media are making it seem? Why should a woman or anyone for that matter, stay in a relationship where they are not sexually attracted to their partner? Must they be forced to have sex with their partner for the sole purpose of having babies? In that case wouldn’t having a child via surrogacy, adoption or IVF be a better decision to make? Some Twittervasis made it seem like Jaya Ji was encouraging women to be adulterous and unfaithful in relationships. If one were to fully understand the context of the conversation, one would know that she was only emphasizing that one shouldn’t be forced to stay in a relationship where there is no physical intimacy – even if one wishes to have kids. How is this dating advice, which was given on a podcast meant for dating and relationships, problematic?

Needless to say, the Twitterverse has, yet again, blown a controversy out of proportion unnecessarily. One must ask Jaya Ji other pertinent questions – particularly about her behaviour around the paparazzi. Her take on marriage, however, doesn’t deserve half the hoopla and attention it is getting.

Time to move on to the next controversy, Twieeple!

Deepansh Duggal is an entertainment, pop-culture and trends writer based in New Delhi. He specializes in op-eds based on the socio-political and gender issues in the world of entertainment and showbiz. He also writes explainers and occasionally reviews shows in the OTT space. He tweets at @Deepansh75. 

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