Khaled Hosseini’s support for his trans daughter Haris wins hearts in India

Afghan-American novelist Khaled Hosseini, known for writing books such as The Kite Runner (2003), A Thousand Splendid Suns (2007), And the Mountains Echoed (2013), and Sea Prayer (2018), won a new legion of LGBTQIA+ fans on July 13. His public declaration of unflinching support for his transgender daughter, Haris, went viral on Instagram.

He wrote, “Yesterday, my 21-year-old daughter Haris came out to the world as transgender. I have known about Haris’ journey since last year and I’ve watched her navigate some very trying personal times. Transitioning is such a complicated undertaking – emotionally, physically, socially, psychologically – but Haris has met each challenge with grace, patience, and wisdom.” The note was accompanied by photographs featuring Haris and himself.

Hosseini added, “As a father, I have never been prouder of her. I am delighted to now have not one but two beautiful daughters. Most of all, I am inspired by Haris’ fearlessness, her courage to share with the world her true self. She has taught me and our family so much about bravery, about truth. About what it means to live authentically. I know this process was painful for her, fraught with grief and anxiety. She is sober to the cruelty trans people are subjected to daily. But she is strong and undaunted.” Hosseini’s other daughter is Farah.

Yesterday, my daughter Haris came out as transgender.

I’ve never been prouder of her. She has taught our family so much about bravery and truth.

I know this process was painful for her. She is sober to the cruelty trans people are subjected to. But she is strong and undaunted. pic.twitter.com/c3qNT1Lndw

— Khaled Hosseini (@khaledhosseini) July 13, 2022

In a befitting conclusion to this heart-warming note, the author wrote, “I love my daughter. I will be by her side every step of the way, as will our family. We stand behind her. It’s a privilege to watch her enter the world as the beautiful, wise, and brilliant woman that she is. May God bless her.” Hosseini also posted an abridged version of this note on Twitter.

Dr. Aqsa Shaikh, a trans woman who serves as Associate Professor of Community Medicine at the Hamdard Institute of Medical Sciences and Research in Delhi, pointed out that Hosseini’s statement of solidarity is a significant development for “young trans persons who practise the Muslim faith, not only in the US but also in South Asia and the Middle East”.

She said, “The parents of trans and non-binary individuals are constantly looking for acceptance and validation of their children. When they see celebrities welcoming trans and non-binary children with open arms, it gives them courage. They feel less alone. In Islamic societies, trans persons tend to be more accepted than lesbian, gay and bisexual people.”

Drawing attention to the fact that Hosseini “was a practising physician for almost a decade”, she added, “In the US, there has been much debate and controversy around trans rights. With Hosseini’s background in science, especially medicine, I hope families with young trans people will take him seriously.” Hosseini’s website mentions that he got a medical degree at the University of California, San Diego, and completed his residency in Los Angeles.

Nilakshi Roy, a retired college professor from Mumbai, and active member of Sweekar – a support group for parents of LGBTQIA+ people in India – welcomed Hosseini’s statement. As the mother of a queer daughter, she could empathize with Hosseini’s feelings. In the past, she has initiated a Change.org petition urging the National Council of Educational Research and Training to reinstate its training manual on inclusion of trans and non-binary children.

Roy said, “When I read Hosseini’s statement, I was moved by his intention to be there for his trans daughter in the face of every difficulty that life throws at them. In fact, I remembered a line from his novel The Kite Runner – ‘For you, a thousand times over!’ His words will serve as an example to many other parents, regardless of their religion, nationality and gender. As a writer of international repute, he is a person beyond borders. His message will travel widely.”

Ritushree Panigrahi, a Mumbai-based trans woman who is a stand-up comic and also a diversity and inclusion professional in the corporate sector, said, "To know that you have the backing of your family is a deep source of confidence and encouragement. Unfortunately, family support is rare for people in the trans community.” She was of the opinion that Hosseini's act of allyship on social media “will have a broader reach than many advocacy and sensitization programmes” because “our society pays attention when celebrities speak.”

Panigrahi said that Hosseini’s statement about Haris is “a ray of hope, a positive contribution to the conversation around trans rights not only in the US but in countries across the globe.” Striking a note of caution, she added that “visibility can bring forth a backlash in terms of deadnaming and misgendering by trolls.” Deadnaming means using a birth name that a trans person has stopped using because it is associated with their identity prior to transitioning. Misgendering means referring to a trans person by the gender identity assigned at birth.

Tashi Choedup, a Hyderabad-based transfeminine Buddhist monastic and queer-trans rights activist, said, “We have many legislations, judicial interventions and official statements from the United Nations supporting trans rights but oppression continues to hurt trans people in their own families. For me, every parent who refuses to participate in violence is worth celebrating. It does not matter whether they are influential or not. Their support counts.”

She emphasized that Hosseini could have kept his solidarity a private affair but his choice to make it public “with the consent of his daughter” is “an act of courage” especially given the current political environment in the US where “trans people face discrimination on various fronts including housing, bathroom access, gender affirming healthcare, and employment”.

A gay Muslim doctor based in India, who prefers to be identified by his Twitter handle, @udhan_khatola, said, “Hosseini is an influential public figure for Muslim households. His decision to accept the truth of his courageous daughter will have a trailblazing effect. It is possible to overcome stigma and embrace different lived realities. His words will help Afghan parents understand their queer kids. They will motivate other Muslim parents too.”

Chintan Girish Modi is a Mumbai-based journalist who tweets @chintanwriting

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