'Mothers are dying in UK as courts giving custody of kids to 'abusive' husbands'

An investigation by the BBC revealed a grim reality of the UK family courts where five mothers lost their lives, following family court decisions allowing fathers accused of abuse to get custody of their children.

The gravity of these cases is further underscored by a separate study conducted by the University of Manchester, in conjunction with the BBC, which unearths alarming incidents involving 75 children compelled to live with fathers previously implicated for domestic abuse, including some who were convicted paedophiles.

In this wide-ranging inquiry, the mothers’ stories, veiled in anonymity due to legal constraints, paint a distressing picture of mental anguish, physical ailments, and, tragically, suicides.

One mother, devastated by the court’s ruling to have her child live with a convicted child rapist, spiraled into a harrowing state of despair, forsaking nourishment and ultimately succumbing to death.

The backbone of these troubling cases is a disputable notion known as “parental alienation,” employed by accused fathers as a means of defense in court.

This concept asserts that mothers have unjustly turned their children against fathers, prompting scepticism within legal circles and the wider society.

Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno, who spearheaded the research, deems “parental alienation” a tool wielded by abusers and decries its pervasive acceptance in family courts as a “national scandal.”

This concept’s misuse by fathers, claiming it encompasses anything opposing their desired level of contact, has also caused concern among family law experts.

The mothers, comprising 45 individuals in the University of Manchester study, report grievous health issues resulting from the immense stress of family court proceedings.

These issues range from miscarriages to heart attacks and suicidal thoughts, illustrating the dire consequences of these emotionally fraught legal battles.

The harrowing stories detailed here form part of a broader BBC investigation into the family courts’ handling of domestic violence claims within parental disputes.

Nicole Jacobs, the Domestic Abuse Commissioner, decries the distressing cases as a clarion call for “urgent and wide-reaching reform” within family courts, asserting that abusers, abetted by unregulated experts, employ “so-called parental alienation” to divert attention from their own abusive behavior.

The government, responding to the BBC’s revelations, is initiating an inquiry into “alienation,” while the judiciary has issued draft guidelines for public consultation on managing parental alienation claims in domestic abuse cases.

However, critics contend that these measures fall short of addressing the root issues.

The personal tragedies in these cases are indeed heart-rending. Grace, for instance, initially in love with her partner, discovered his dark past involving child rape convictions.

Separation from her husband led to a prolonged legal battle where he accused her of mental instability and threatened she would “alienate” their child.

The court, aware of his criminal history, believed the risk to the child could be managed, a decision that took a severe toll on Grace’s mental health, ultimately leading to her death.

Another mother, identified as Sarah, endured two years of grueling family court proceedings that took a devastating toll on her mental health.

The court determined that she had been brutally abused by her former partner, who subjected her to physical violence and invasive surveillance.

The father, invoking parental alienation, sought contact with their children, but Sarah’s fragile state led her to take her own life before the final ruling.

In yet another case, a mother who had sought refuge from domestic abuse saw her health deteriorate due to the trauma of her medical records being discussed in court.

Accused of mental illness and parental alienation, she lived in fear of losing her child, eventually succumbing to a treatable illness that claimed her life.

Sheila, victimized by a coercive and controlling partner, also faced allegations of parental alienation during court proceedings.

The court’s decision went against her, leaving her feeling imprisoned by the family courts and her abuser. Over a year later, she, too, tragically took her own life.

While the causes of these suicides are complex, the involvement of family court proceedings raises concerns about a potentially heightened risk.

Researchers studying the family courts express apprehension regarding the increasing use of parental alienation claims in private law cases, where one parent takes the other to court, rather than cases initiated by social services.

The University of Manchester study, conducted in partnership with the domestic abuse research group SHERA, underscores that accusations of parental alienation were a common thread among the 45 mothers and their 75 children.

Dr. Dalgarno laments that, in many private law cases, credible evidence of abuse, including criminal convictions, is often overlooked or dismissed.

Dr. Dalgarno calls for “emergency measures” to counter the misuse of parental alienation claims, stressing that the consequences include severe health impacts and even suicidal thoughts for both children and adult victims of abuse.

Jess Phillips, Labour’s shadow minister for domestic violence and safeguarding, highlights the severity of the issue, likening it to major abuse scandals and demanding a shift in the presumption of contact in cases involving domestic abuse, sexual violence, or child abuse.

The term “parental alienation” traces back to a controversial US psychiatrist, Richard Gardner, who introduced the concept of “parental alienation syndrome.”

He suggested that mothers in acrimonious divorces manipulate their children into believing they were abused by their fathers. Despite criticism for a lack of evidence, the term has been repurposed as “parental alienation” and embraced by family courts.

The call for change is growing louder, with the United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls advocating for a global ban on parental alienation.

Nicole Jacobs while talking to BBC, highlighted the need to separate claims of domestic violence and parental alienation to protect women and children.

Cafcass, which advises courts on children’s best interests, now focuses on “alienating behaviors” instead of parental alienation, considering factors like domestic abuse before making decisions about contact.

In response to these tragic cases, the Ministry of Justice expressed deep sympathy and outlined improvements made to the family court system to protect domestic abuse victims.